Hardest thing ever

I just witnessed the most heartwrenching thing ever. I walked into my bedroom closet and saw Jason's side mostly empty. It broke my heart, and I started sobbing uncontrollably. Of course the jerk had to put on cologne before leaving so it smelled like him :(

As I looked into the back yard, I again started crying thinking of the things we would never see together. The peas that we planted, the strawberries. We were both so looking forward to the summer since last summer was a piece of shit, however we won't get to experience it.

Side note...

I might have to change my name. 2 days sober... I don't ever want to see another drink. It ruined my marriage.

Can't sleep...

The futon at my Mom's sucks. It is so damn uncomfortable. I want to be back home in bed...1 week ago.

Can't do this...

I know they say to be strong, it's all for the best. I know they are right, but it doesn't feel that way. There's the tightness in my chest, the pounding in my head. I wish to God I could have a do-over.
I do love him. I honestly wish him the best in the future.
It just sucks because he was my best friend too. The first one I call when something is funny, sad or I was just bored. I think that's the hardest part.

The end of a bumpy but mostly good run...

My marriage is over. I am so heartbroken. It is for the best, I am tired of being hurt.

Got her!

So, after an in-depth apology and admitting he was an ass, we went to get my puppy.


She is so sweet. She follows me everywhere. She sits on the back of the couch behind my head, or in my lap. When I get up to go in the kitchen, she's right under my feet.
Yes, I am the type to dress up my dog.

WTF?

This won't make much sense, I am pissed and just need to vent.

So I wake up to pee this morning. That, apparently, was my first mistake. J starts a fight, going off on me about my Mother's Day present. Apparently him and my Mom found me a dog. And now I am going to have to suffer. Why does he have to rub it in my face time and time again? This is such bullshit and I am so sick of it.
For one, I never asked for a dog. J makes it seem that I begged for one. We watched a friend of ours mini schnauzer and I loved her. So J started looking to get me one. I told him that if I was to get one, I wanted a yorkie. So my Mom found one online that a lady needs to get rid of. Apparently J told my Mom that he would pay for it.
So, since J is stressed ( I guess), he takes it out on me. Told me that I didn't deserve a present. That I sat around on my lazy ass all day and begged for a dog that he now has to pay for . Thanks for ruining my Mothers Day present asshole.