Sunday, March 30, 2008

Tomorrow - My First Day Alone

So, I have been off work for 2 months, J was off at the same time. He started his new job last week, but that was also spring break, so I was still busy with the kids.
Tomorrow though is a different story. I am all alone. And what do I have planned. It is unbelievably exciting. I am going to do a ton of laundry and clean out and reorganize the pantry. No joke.... I am just that cool. Having J at work I can definetly accoomplish more around the house, but I miss happy hour and the peanuts in the cleavage - Mine- Not his.
Tomorrow is also the day that I start excercising again and begin my diet AND start drinking less. Well, atleast 2 of the 3.

Friday, March 28, 2008


Some men like the silent type. Some men like the deadly type. Some men like the loud, I am all 3 rolled into one. I have the worst/best diet of vegetables as my main meal. And what do veggies make you do... pass gas.
I just cleared out a husband, 2 kids and 1 dog. The cats didn't care... they probably just wanted to clean me. I want to say that it is embarassing and I am not proud, but I also do not like to lie.


I think I am going to get a new tattoo this weekend.
Here is what it will say...

Monday, March 24, 2008

The End of The End

So, J starts back to work Wednesday after an extended vacation. Tonight is party night, tomorrow is quiet night. I will finally have the house to myself, yet I am pretty sure I will be lonely as I am only used to having until 11:oo by myself. I made a deal with me that I will clean 1 room a day, since God knows this house is disgusting. Not just a little clean, but a deep scrubbing clean. Yes, I know one of us has been off since September, but one of us is a lazy ass that only likes to look at porn and funny shit.
Again, it is the end of the end, yet we have had Devin, my 16 year old brother, since Thursday I think. Devin is freakin' hilarious, yet he turns Tyler into a doof.
Tonight is sangria night, followed up by J and I drrinking tonight followed up by J being hungover and sleeping til noon or 1:00 and me sleeping until 7:00am.
Life is fun.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Happy Freakin Easter!!

It's Easter! I woke up early this morning to get a fresh start on this beautiful day. Ok, I woke up because J kicked me and told me the cat was scratching at the door. Duh- this is why I wear earplugs to bed- that way you can't hear it.

Thursday, March 20, 2008


So, tomorrow we get to call some Las Vegas attorney's and start up a lawsuit, since the lovely employees of some hotel, knowing they are completely at fault, will not return our calls. I am sure they think we will just go away and not waste out time but you know what? I have nothing better to do BUT waste my time. How dare you not only ruin my vacation, my first trip to Vegas... and, I don't know, for lack of better words, grief, stress, fear... and then not bother to atleast let me know what is going on!

I am declaring Jihad on them and anyone else I can find until I get an answer and they have to pay for it.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


You ever have stupid arguments, the kind that you can't even BELIEVE they are real because they are just that stupid? You keep waiting for them to crack up and you can literally feel you IQ dropping as you are standing there?

No....hmmm... maybe it is just me.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Sunday.... Cuz That's My Funday....

Someone we know was abusing Everclear, so we removed 3 gallon bottles from the home.

What happens when life hands you 3 gallons of everclear? Make jelloshots!!! That's the best way, since you can't taste that horrible stuff, plus... sugar-free jello is delicious. This is the ultimate food- no calories. I am sure the trainers at my gym would agree... NO? Maybe they need to get laid. Bastards.

Anyway, it was a yummy delicious batch of goodness, but it was really weak and after having literally "a belly full of jello, I went to bed.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

My First EVER Vegas Vacation...

Thursday ... Diet? Ya, I left that at home

Thursday morning, we left early to take the kids to my Mom's house then off to the airport. Once we got there, where did we go? The bar of course (I mean, after all we had 2 hours to kill). We had a couple of drinks, then headed over to go get on the plane, to have some bloody mary's.
We arrived at our hotel, the Mandalay Bay, around 4:30. We changed and headed out. Our first stop was at eyecandy at Mandalay Bay to have our $15 martinis.

Image from

The second stop was:

We walked through our hotel and then up through the strip. With fresh virgin feet, I made fun of J taking the escalators and decided to brave it and laughed and took the stairs. It's official - I am stupid. We ventured as far down as the Bellagio, watched the show and took a cab down to Fremont Street, where we got yummy free drinks and watched the awesome show on the roof of the sidewalk.

On the cabride back, the cab driver gave us free $25 drink tickets each to the Penthouse strip bar (I mean "Gentlemen's Club"), as well as $60 cash to pay our cover. Um- ok. I am all for free drinks. After the strip bar, our coked up cabby took us back to the hotel. Yes, coked up cabby. J had him stop at AM/PM so he could pick up snacks, and the cabby decided to do some coke while J was in there. Yes, digging through your bag, leaning over your lap and taking a huge sniff kinda gives you away. Then look in the mirror and make sure your nose is clean. Good job buddy!!!

We walked the strip some more, until we could not walk again. We hobbled back to our hotel, and J and I seperated somehow. I came around the corner and there was J having a conversation with Danny Bonaduce! His girlfriend Amy was sweet enough to take our picture with him.

After awhile we decided to go to bed. After we got upstairs, J decided he wanted another drink so he went downstairs, and after about 5 minutes I decided to get dressed. When I got to the bottom of the elevator, I had the most bizarre incident occur, but I do not know if I can post it online yet or not. Meaning, that there might be a lawsuit.

After the incident, we came back upstairs, ordered a bottle of wine from room service and took a hot bath and had hot sex overlooking the strip from our 34th floor hotel room.


I woke up early and went for a walk, even though my feet were killing me. I talked to my aunt for a couple hours walking around trying to find something to eat, but did not want to eat too much since we were going to Bobby Flay's restaurant, Mesa Grill for lunch. Eventually I talked J into waking up. We walked down to Caesar's Palace, and ate a so-so lunch. I was disapointed in the food. I have been watching Flay for years, and was hoping for something better. The mojito's were awesome though!

We spent the rest of the day walking around the strip, with me almost running into anything and everything because I was looking around like a little kid stuck in a candy store. I even had my very first oyster shooter- a bloody mary one from Harrah's.

We also went to the Dolphin and Lion Habitat at The Mirage, it was so amazing. I love dolphins, so this made my day:

Once we got back, we got to spend a couple more hours with security regarding the previous nights events!

That night we got changed and headed over to LAX Nightclub at the Luxor. I had previously put us on the guest list so we just walked to the front of the line and got in. The main purpose of the event was to get into see Heidi Montag and Steve Sanders from The Hills, they were hosting the event that night.

Photo Courtesy of LAX Nightclub

Photo courtesy of my blackberry

We ended up getting into the VIP area, where the bottles of vodka ranged from $550-1700. Yeah, I will stick with my SF redbull and vodka, thanks though. The bouncer "bounced" some people up and we got to sit down at a table.

It was very crowded, so we decided to get out of there. Right when we were leaving, Paris Hilton and Benji Madden got there. We decided just to go back to Mandalay Bay to hang out in the casino.

...More hot sex.


Woke up this morning...more sex. Not so hot as J had to pee, but sex nonetheless. After I made myself smell yummy like the Mirage Hotel, (It totally smells like pina colada), we went down to "The Beach" to relax by the pool with our frozen concoctions.

The rest of the day was mostly a catch-up day, just walking the strip trying to go to the places we had not been yet. We took the monorail up to Slots a Fun since J wanted a 1/2 pound foot long hotdog. It was so incredibly good, but I didn't quite make it halfway. As we were walking down towards Treasure Island, a windstorm hit with 60-70 mile hour winds. It was crazy, but fun!
I got another pina colada from there, and headed over to The Venetian, then over to Caesar's Palace we could watch the statues. I finished the pina colada, and went for the 48 oz. 1/2 yard margarita...
We saw Pete Rose and Steve someone signing at Field of Dreams in Caesar's. The statue show was lame, but oh well.
Had another oyster shooter, saw the flamingo habitat, saw what I am pretty sure was a cocktail waitress from when The Flamingo first opened as she was freaking old!

We ate dinner at the House of Blues. It was SO unbelievably good. My favorite meal there by far. I had some spicy BBQ chicken dish with veggies, and J had some jambalaya ( I think)

Sunday...Time to go home

Bought tons of presents for the kids. I could not wait to see them, but also did not want the vacation to end. We drove to pick up the kids, and I tried to give my little brother all of the "Collector Cards" that I gathered on the street. 110 in all! My Mom yelled at me, but Devin thought they were cool. He wanted to know why Mom made him give up his "whore cards". NOW THAT was fun. J could always tell when I was getting tipsy, as I would suddenly start taking all of the "freebies" that were offered to me.

I know I forgot to add a lot of things, but it was quite the action packed weekend!!!

I Have Arrived

Being currently unemployed, I need a hobby. Plus, I believe I am annoying everyone around me, so I have decided to take my knack onto the internet.